March 7, 2008
1. How George Lucas' billions can't buy him a beard to hide the fact that he is chinless.
2. How a higher percentage of bowlers have beards than the general male populace and how bowling really SHOULD be an Olympic sport. How it is an ancient game of history and tradition and how people who bowl are good people, true of heart.
3. How girls really dig night time van drivers more than you would think and how night time van drivers have to be pure of mind to resist temptation.
4. How night time van drivers sometimes get together in the summer to shoot bottle rockets into the lake.
5. How it is very dangerous to shoot bottle rockets from inside the van because it is possible to blow a finger off.
6. How Jimmy keeps his blown off finger in a jar of formaldehyde.
7. How Jimmy despite being a late night van driver has women problems.
8. How Jimmy has no chin.
9. How Jimmy has a beard.
10. How this is all for the best, because although he is a friend ("since the middle of 8th grade") Jimmy is a bad guy with a black heart.