July 6, 2006
Dear Becky and Michael, godparents of our son,
I keep turning over the story you told tonight at dinner in my mind.
This much I understand:
1. You're at a Montauk restaurant with a group of people including Rebecca Romijn.
2. Becky is seated next to Ms. Romijn who is being kind of bitchy and actively not making conversation.
3. There's another girl there also being bitchy who claims to be from Detroit but obviously isn't from Detroit which is annoying to people from Michigan like yourself who know that 90% of the people who say they are from Detroit really aren't.
4. A fish arrives complete with head and tail and the faux Detroit girl offers to de-bone it, because she is an expert de-boner, but then declines when she discovers it's Becky's fish.
5. Ms. Romijn is not wearing underwear.
This part I fail to understand no matter how hard I try to wrap my mind around it:
6. Both of you are part of a human pyramid, 4 layers high, with the aforementioned people.
7. You are on the bottom of the pyramid.
8. You explain you were bullied into this.