Abominable
You know the stop motion Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer "holiday classic" that plays every year around this time. It was on CBS this evening. I love the show as much as the next guy, but a couple of things have always rankled me.
1. Skinny Santa is mean.
2. The Burl Ives snowman plays the banjo during some of the songs, but there is no banjo on the soundtrack.
3. Charlie in the Box is terrifying.
4. Owls at the North Pole?
5. The Abominable Snow Monster should be bloody after having all his teeth ripped out.
6. Hermey is a terrible name.
7. There's nothing wrong with the doll, why is she on the Island of Misfit Toys? (according to this site the problem is psychological)
8. King Moonracer is an Aslan ripoff.
9. Yukon Cornelius is a Yosemite Sam ripoff.
10. Did I mention Santa is kind of an ass? He also only has 4 fingers.
As an aside what in the world was up with the "Ronald McDonald and I'm loving it" ad that appeared during the middle of the show? Ronald McDonald is frightening enough on his own, but singing "rock" and stage diving? Is the McDonald Corporation trying to hurt my mind?
4 Comments:
Those ads have always been freaky: http://www.stayfreemagazine.org/archives/24/mcdonalds-commercials.html
that movie is frightening. thank you for reminding us.
when i first saw the abominable snowman pic on your site, hoping there would be a cute picture of the baby, i was struck by a memory of my re-occurring childhood fever-dreams, in which my family, except my mother who was, and still is, too chubby to fit, hide under the bed to escape the wrath of the a.s.
i love that you finally revealed the terror that movie must create, at the subconscious level at least, in the minds of santa-awaiting children everywhere.
and the entry about the orthodox salsa kid is fantastic!
you are a great writer - you capture the details in everyday life that reveal the urgent significance of seemingly insignificant moments.
thanks.
jf
haha! You make some great points! Except my daughter does an amazingly accurate imitation of the Charlie in the Box. It makes everyone laugh...so he's not quite so scary to us. It's just not Christmas, though, until you've watched Rudolph. :)
it has always bothered me that Santa is so mean in this show. He is really selfish and nasty. Plus, with one meal he goes from 100 lbs to 450 lbs. That Mrs. Claus must be quite a cook. But, I do agree, it isn't Christmas until I've seen the show, and I hate to admit it, but I've seen it every year for over 40!
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
mme
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